S C R W S T X

Isaac bought me The Death compilation of Gaiman's Sandman comics as an advanced birthday present. I treated him to lunch yesterday because he helped me proof-read my entire fyp thesis, which is 39 pages long, at 2am the day of submission and you don't find friends like that easily yknow? A book about death on my birthday is ironic but he wrote in his note saying in Tarot, the death card signifies new beginnings. Like how I drew the death card when I was still in a relationship. I guess as with all end, there must be a new start. It isn't even a question, what comes after death. A new start. Overly optimistic yeah, even I cringe a little but it's the truth of the way things work. Starts begin without ends anyway.

I'm on the train now and today I'm dressed all black. I even did eyeliner which I can hardly ever bother with. But today I feel like Death. Death not as in dead but as in the character in his comics. She's so laid back, nonchalant and confident. I guess when there's never an end in your life you can be nonchalant. What weight do consequences hold anymore? The other day I was thinking, where lies the fragility of life if not buried in the deathlessness of death? You get the buried part? Life buried like corpses. It was funny to me. If death isn't as permanent as it is, shall life still be as precious? Probably not. Mum talked about how it's been a year since the bombing in Bangkok. She talked about how a newborn was dumped in the sanitary pad bin last night. The news said so. Death reported countrywide and people feel sad for the dead or people who came so close to death. Death as an end to life. But perhaps death is a part of life. Perhaps death is a start? It is only with death that anything we do has meaning and worth, no?