S C R W S T X

 A smol little check in, a tiny popping-by to just say "hi" except to probably no one really. 

Hi my little space of word vomit. A space that has held space for me for more than a decade. And to you too if you're reading this. 

4 months into 2021 and I'm doing all right. This month marks 4th month in therapy. I've been working through negative inner workings embedded and entrenched into the way I process and function and it has been such an incredibly enlightening journey. I always knew I would go for therapy at some point in my life because I knew I wanted extra insights into how I am the way I am. It's the introspective side of me I guess. And I always knew if I ever decide to become a parent (years down) it was paramount for me to go to therapy first before making any decision because when it comes to parenting someone, I want to be a better state of self. (Adulting thoughts eh?) I understand therapy still has a certain level of stigma and it took me awhile to open up to the idea that maybe I don't have to be completely and utterly depressed or have a huge debilitating issue in order to have someone guide me through things. I did reached a point where I was so tired of trying to manage my emotions all the time last year so I figured, "Let's ask for help". 

One of the best decision I've done for myself. 

My therapist has been the most... present, patient, empathetic, validating "stranger" I ever had to pour my heart out to. It makes me want to cry knowing there are people out there who are willing and professionally capable to sit there and be there for you, and impart skills on how to show up for yourself whenever you need to. I jokingly call this The School of Yun Jing because I've learnt... so much about myself. I've always known there to be monsters but when I slowly figured out how these monsters came to be in my own mind... there was a huge surge of self-empathy and I'm in turn slowly learning to be much kinder. People always tell you to be kind to yourself but no one tells you it's easier when you realise exactly why you're hard on yourself.

If you ever are entertaining the idea of therapy but have pre-conceived notions that are stopping you from receiving help, take an active step to clarify your doubts and worries. There's such a range of help available, differing price points (I go for a cheaper option and it's been great), specialities and all. Feel free to reach out to me if you want to.